Voice of Reason

 

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." -Walter Winchell
“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”
-Walter Winchell

Lately, it seems my life has been in ruins. My job has been causing me some anxiety for reasons I will not go into. My grandmother’s death has caused a lot of added stress among my family that I was not expecting and dealing with her death in general has been extremely challenging. My love life has been slightly complicated to say the least. With all of that in addition to the day to day activities that can cause all of us some apprehension I have been feeling a bit weathered, lost, heartbroken and sad. My strength is diminishing and I have begun to lose sight of who I am.

But I am fortunate to have people in my life who make dealing with all the hardships so much more tolerable. In particular, my two amazing friends that can always lift my mood and distract me away from my breaking point; even when that’s not their intention. I have several amazing female cousins but no sisters and it can be difficult for me to connect with other women because let’s face it; most women can be catty, two-faced and just plain bitchy.

Growing up with only brothers can alter your perception on human relations slightly. Men usually tend to say what they mean and mean what they say and that is what I am accustomed to. There is less anxiety involved with befriending men because if a man answers your question you know he literally means his response. But women love to play games and they can turn on each other with very little warning. Also, we women in general have a tendency to overanalyze every single detail of our lives. From something as mundane as what to wear to the more intriguing questions like “what did he mean by that?”

Ladies overcomplicate things so entirely that I find it draining to maintain simple friendships with other women. It just becomes too exhausting and frustrating. My two darling friends however have the compassion that most men lack but more sense than most women and they come with very little drama, in fact of the three of us I am definitely the most girly. I will fully admit that I overanalyze everything and the two of them are my rolled up newspaper that smack the sense back into me when I wander too far off into my own delusions.

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." -Oprah Winfrey
“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”
-Oprah Winfrey

MR is the kind of woman that all others should aspire to be like. She’s got the moves like Jagger, she is genuinely funny, exceedingly intelligent, she is fun to be around, generous and incredibly kind. Of the three of us she is the oldest and the “big sister”, that does not mean that she scolds or lectures us, I only mean that she is never discouraging. She has a loving heart and can be selfless but if you anger mama bear she can get ferocious; fortunately for me I’ve never pissed her off…yet. She is always introducing me to new things and I have become more open-minded and a better person because of her. Recently she has gotten her heart broken and is forced to live with the same person who has so cruelly taken advantage of her kindness. Being stuck in such a living situation, most of us would never have the patience to endure it and even though she deserves so much better she still manages her life with grace and compassion.

“If you have good friends, no matter how much life is sucking , they can make you laugh.”  ― P.C. Cast
“If you have good friends, no matter how much life is sucking , they can make you laugh.”
― P.C. Cast

MV is a total nutcase; which is what I absolutely love about her and personality wise she is my polar-opposite but we have so much in common which makes it so easy for us to be friends. She is exuberant, confident, off-the-wall hilarious; she’s insightful, quick and fiercely intelligent. She is an amazing mother to her three young daughters who are the coolest kids and so well behaved all because of her. She is the classic “middle sister” of our little trio; always going along with whatever everyone else wants and volunteering to do all the work. She may not know it but she is brave and very sure of who she is and she never hesitates to stand up for herself and those she cares about. She is a no bullshit kind of person and she is always reminding me that I can do better for myself. She started college not long ago, typically people her age are afraid to start over but she is thriving and taking her life in the direction she deserves.

“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?” ― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like “What about lunch?”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

At times I certainly lean on them too much just like the classic “little sister” that I am of our group. It seems that the two of them are always taking care of me. They discuss where to go and what to do while I sit in the room goofing around, hardly paying attention and contributing very little. I feel undeserving of their unconditional friendship and so blessed that the three of us have never once fought since we’ve known each other.

“Sisterhood was about shared experiences, trust, knowing you had people who would be there for you and would listen to you no matter what, and who could always tell if there was something wrong." -Michelle Madow
“Sisterhood was about shared experiences, trust, knowing you had people who would be there for you and would listen to you no matter what, and who could always tell if there was something wrong.”
-Michelle Madow

When I was younger I always thought that in order for people to qualify as your best friend and to truly know you it was essential that they be a part of your life from the beginning. But I know now that when you make a friend after you have lived a good portion of your life and they somehow fill a void you didn’t even know was there that can oftentimes be a stronger bond than the ones you forge in childhood; especially if you are holding on to longtime friends out of obligation rather than common interests or compatibility.

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”  ― Anaïs Nin
“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”
― Anaïs Nin

People tend to drift apart, not because they dislike each other or because of a falling out but simply because people grow and their lives take them in different directions and like so many others I grew out of most of my friendships from childhood. Now I have only a few childhood friends that I have stayed in contact with and even them I see so rarely.

Even though I have only known MR and MV a handful of years I love them so immensely that without them my life would be a little less colorful. I feel that they truly know who I am and understand the things I do and the things I have yet to do. They are supportive and I never doubt their sincerity toward me. I can always count on their advice and I know they will always be honest with me. I trust them and I can only hope they know that they can trust me.

“Friendship- my definition- is built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don't have trust, the friendship will crumble.”  ― Stieg Larsson, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
“Friendship- my definition- is built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don’t have trust, the friendship will crumble.”
― Stieg Larsson, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

It should be common knowledge but surprisingly it must be said that for all of us it is crucial to have people in our lives that make us feel comfortable with whoever we are and that maybe they push us to be a better version of ourselves when our lives need reviving; people who will remind us that we are enough even when we feel like we absolutely cannot stand to look at ourselves in the mirror. I know that from here on out my two best friends will always be that voice of reason for me when I begin to doubt who I am.

“The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship.”  ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
“The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
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